Jokes For The Day
Golf Club Damage
A man staggers into an emergency room with a golf club wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.
“Well, let me explain,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a field of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife’s golf ball…stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my mistake.”
“What did you do?” asks the doctor.
“Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks like yours!’”
The Priest’s Rooster
The priest in a small Irish village truly loved the rooster and
hens he kept in the church henhouse. But one Saturday night, the
rooster went missing.
Now, the priest had heard about cockfights being staged in the
village, so after Sunday morning’s sermon he asked his parishioners,
“Has anybody got a cock?”
All the men raised their hands.
“No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen
a cock?”
All the women raised their hands.
“No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant either. Has anybody
seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?”
Half the women raised their hands.
“No, wait,” he said, “what I meant to ask is has anyone seen
my cock?”
All the nuns, three altar boys, and the deacon raised their
hands, while a goat bleated outside….
