Me, Myself & I

Bo liao~ Rantings

Today’s Topic - Bus people Part1

Everyday taking the public transport to work, i tend to notice that there’s many kinds of people out there, here’s list of a few tt i have found n discovered

Note: all this applies only when the bus is getting crowded, if the bus is empty, i dun give a damn of how u seat

Window Phobias

This is a strange group of ppl, even when the bus is getting crowded, they always sit on the outside of the seats, away from the window, i mean, wat’s so scary abt the windows? beats me. here’s a couple of reasons i can think of

 -Afraid of the cold aircon
 aircon’s cold n on some buses, it cant be   adjusted hence they rather sit outside to   avoid it

 *bring along a freaking sweater or sth then  problem solved, DUMB

 -gonna alight soon
 few more stops n they gonna alight, so it’s  a hassle to shift in then shift out again,   more so if there’s ppl taking the outside   seat after they shifted in

 *then dun bother to even sit down, move ur   ass to the door n wait for ur stop!
 
 -afraid of the sunshine

 *ya ya melt n die pls, the world is so much  better without u ppl , not to mention it   free up 2 seats!

Ghost-seer

This group of species are special, they have the ability to see ghosts, elephants n dinosaurs on the bus! they have whispered to me, they always see ghosts n animals at the back of the bus, hence they are unable to move to the back!

Scary… NOT

Note: i love this kind of ppl in the bus, esp when i’m not in a gd mood. basically, i juz bash thru them to get to the back, great stress reliever i must say…

Auto sleeper

This group i assume are genetically modified by aliens, sensors are installed (read: Shoved up) in their ass so that whenever a pregnant lady, old folks or people carrying babies approach them, they automatically fall asleep! This is a poor group of ppl… they cant even give up their seats for ppl that needs it more then them…sigh <-SCARASM

Jokes For The Day

Golf Club Damage

  A man staggers into an emergency room with a golf club wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, let me explain,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a field of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife’s golf ball…stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt. That’s when I made my mistake.”

“What did you do?” asks the doctor.

“Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks like yours!’”

The Priest’s Rooster

     The priest in a small Irish village truly loved the rooster and
hens he kept in the church henhouse. But one Saturday night, the
rooster went missing.

Now, the priest had heard about cockfights being staged in the
village, so after Sunday morning’s sermon he asked his parishioners,
“Has anybody got a cock?”

All the men raised their hands.

“No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen
a cock?”

All the women raised their hands.

“No, no,” he said, “that wasn’t what I meant either. Has anybody
seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?”

Half the women raised their hands.

“No, wait,” he said, “what I meant to ask is has anyone seen
my cock?”

All the nuns, three altar boys, and the deacon raised their
hands, while a goat bleated outside….

Clients that juz makes u wanna strangle them

 Example 1:

Email “Hi, can u send me the drawings asap? i need them urgently, my clients are chasing me for it already, need it by afternoon, thanks”

Me: hmm.. okiez.. *rush works n email to her by afternoon*

-5mins later-

Email”Hi, can u help with this changes? thanks” <- it’s for the same “URGENT” work

Me: WTF i thought it is urgent???

for ur info, the drawings are already confirmed with her on paper b4 doing it in 3d n sending to her

Example2

Clients sometimes have the habits of calling u after ur working hrs n asking u stupid qns like

“Hi, u haven go home yet ah?”

me reply which i really did say to her was “look at the time u called n my answer would be there already”

n tt would be followed by whining, meowing, or watever sounds gers like to make when they wan their stuff to be done , i swear when we guys are born, a chip was shove up our ass n programmed tt we have to give in whenever they make this sounds…

Example 3

Me: Sends drawings A to client

Client: Let’s do some changes *states changes*

Me: okie… *do the changes n sends it to client as drawings B*

Client: Hmmm.. somemore changes *states changes*

Me: …… *whispers*bitch*whisper* okok… *do the changes n sends it to client as drawings C*

Client: hmm… let’s go back to A

Note. sometimes it can go all the way to drawings F

Damnnit, can someone invent sth tt allows me to strangle ppl thru email or msn or phonecalls??

n y are my clients are females !!!??